The Hazards of Glue II: Josiah's Humiliation
by Jesfrealo
Summary: More silliness, yes this involves glue but it takes BEFORE the original, so it's not sequel. I named it this because I got the idea from one of the incidents I made up in The Hazards of Glue.


The Hazards of Glue II: Josiah's Humiliation

By: Jesfrealo

Authors Note: Another fun, silly little fic. 

"How pissed do you think he'll be?"

"I do not even pretend to know Mr. Tanner, however nothing he could do to us will even come close to the look I know he'll have on his face," Ezra spoke to his partner in crime. As they prepared to watch the scene unfold from the water cooler in the Bull Pin they practically called home.

Josiah Sanchez was in a good mood. Life was damn good. What a great day to be alive, Josiah thought to himself as he exited the elevator and headed toward his desk, while whistling a bright, bubbly, and nameless tune. He arrived at his desk and prepared to sit down; completely unaware of the fate the two building-wide famous pranksters had planned for him after that unfortunate incident with the dead fish and manure. After all Josiah didn't expect to be punished for helping Buck fill Ezra's Jag with dead fish and manure. Josiah, still whistling, picked up the folders on his desk that he would have to write reports on and thumbed through them as he took his seat. 

_SQUISH_ was the audible sound the entire Bull Pin seemed to hear when the preacher sat down. "What the hell?" Josiah said out-loud, though he wasn't really talking to anyone. He could fell the cold goop on his butt, however he wasn't really sure of what was happening, yet. He heard a muffled sound then suddenly JD's outright laughter. He quickly realized the pranksters had been at it again. Standing, he felt the chair come with him throwing off his balance and sending the huge man hurtling toward the ground.

"VIN, EZRA WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!!!!????" Josiah could hear movement and the scurrying of bodies behind him and immediately knew that the duo was trying to make their escape. While JD's laughter erupted once again in the background. "OH, YOU CAN RUN NOW, SURE YOU CAN, WHILE I'VE GOT MY ASS STUCK TO THIS CHAIR BUT WITH GOD AS MY WITNESS I WILL GET YOU TWO!! AND JD DUNNE YOU BEST SHUT UP NOW!!" Josiah bellowed as he heard more muffled laughing and knew that no one not even Wilmington the son of a bitch who'd gotten him into this mess in the first place was going to come and help him. He felt he was left with one last resort as embarrassing as it might be, however first he had to try to make some attempt to get up. He was positioned awkwardly on the ground, literally hanging by the seat of his pants with his belt pressing hard into his stomach and the arm of his chair pressing roughly into his hip. "Chris!" he yelled out as he attempted to get up. "Nathan!" he also yelled hoping that Nathan wasn't also involved in this cruel plot against him. 

"Josiah, what's all the commotion out here?" Chris questioned one of his few trustworthy agents, before really walking out into the bull pin and seeing the situation his senior and most trustworthy agent had gotten into.

"Chris, I kind of need some help," Josiah began. Then a little more frantically added, "I could really use that help right away."

"I'm in the middle of an unexpected meeting with Judge Travis…"

"He's here?" Josiah questioned suddenly really not wanted Judge Travis the man who had truly gotten this job for him as a favor to see him like this. 

"Yes Josiah, I'm here, but if there's something you need help with Agent Larabee can come out and help you, we're really not in any rush…"

"NO, no Judge, I'm fine," Josiah said not very convincingly as he tried with growing desperation to stand his chair upright, hoping that if he could do that much then he could hide the fact that he'd fallen victim to the pranksters in such a ridiculous, no to mention humiliating manor.

"Well, Josiah, we've got someone to help with this next undercover case we're going in on," Chris commented as he left his office with Judge Travis and a stunning redheaded beauty that should really have been a model for playboy. "I'd like you to meet her..." Chris stopped when he saw Josiah crouching awkwardly with his chair hanging ominously from his pants, which looked to be at the breaking point, literally. 

It was at that moment that Nathan chose to make his appearance upon hearing Josiah's calls with Mary Travis close by his side. He'd been talking with her about a story she wanted to write about the seven's latest bust. Nathan knew something was up when he had seen Vin and Ezra running from the scene of some crime like some terrified teenagers, only to them sneak back. No doubt to admire their work. \

No one knew what to say. Save for Mary's initial "Oh, my." That is until they heard it. To anyone else it was just a normal rip, but to Josiah it signaled two things. One, the end of any chance of his pride or being able to face either of the ravishing beauties that so unfortunately were in perfect to see his completely naked derriere. Two, it signaled the end of Vin and Ezra's lives as they knew it. Maybe he would just them entirely, he hadn't really decided. However no one would argue that if a look of homicide had ever been in anyone's eyes it was in Josiah's at that particular moment. Meanwhile his cheeks were an incredibly dark shade of red as his eyes shifted to the ladies present. 

All life seemed to freeze briefly until they all heard Josiah's bellowed warning/threat, "EZRA, VIN YOU TWO LITTLE BASTARDS BETTTER GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW, AND DON'T YOU DARE COME NEAR ME EVER AGAIN UNLESS YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF FUCKING DEATH WISH BECAUSE I SWEAR, I WILL NOT HESITATE TO KILL YOUR SORRY SON OF A BITCH, CHICKEN SHIT ASSES!!" Josiah still stood somewhat precariously because although he pants had ripped, right at the joint of his legs and butt the glue had bled through his pant effectively sticking his skin to his pants which were stuck to his chair. It was then that Josiah realized that his current exposure could be ended, so he abruptly sat down while Chris decided to make his approach. 

"Ezra, Vin!" Chris called. "Don't either of you even consider leaving. I know none you guys realize this but you DO actually get paid for this, this is actually a work place, this is actually supposed to be work so if you think that because you've got Josiah royally pissed off you can just duck out, you're dead wrong. So you all better get you asses in hear now!" 

"Chris if they come in here, I swear I'll kill them," Josiah said calmly but with absolutely clear menace in his voice. 

"Chris do we have to come in THERE?" Vin questioned from the coffee room while JD and Buck made a slow appearance.

"We had nothing to do with this Chris, we swear," JD spoke.

However Buck knew who they should really be talking to, one very pissed, not to mention dangerous, ex-preacher. "Yeah Josiah, we didn't have a thing to do with this," Buck swore emphatically. 

"No, but you two sure did have a great laugh about it," Josiah spoke sourly. To that JD and Buck had no reasonable response so they just kept their mouths shut.

That is until Buck saw team seven's new arrival, "My, my who's the pretty little filly?"

Chris sat on the edge of Josiah's desk. He put a hand up to his face and ran it over his eyes tiredly. Shaking his head, he looked up to see Buck checking out there help for the next mission while pointing out her best features to JD who was listening eagerly. In the coffee room he could here Vin and Ezra debated rather heatedly whether they were more afraid of himself or the preacher. Then his eyes shifted to Nathan who was kneeling beside Josiah desperately trying to calm him, while it looked as if Nathan's coolness was only adding more fuel to the fire that was Josiah's rage, Josiah looked about ready to punch the healer. Meanwhile the judge just stood shaking his head with a mixture of anger, amusement, smugness, and astonishment that the most incredibly successful team the ATF had ever had was full of these men that no one was even willing to try and describe. However, Chris he was wrong, someone was going to try and describe them, after the scene the was unfolding before Mary's eyes Chris couldn't blame her for writing down all the details furiously as she appeared to have lost all interest in their recent successful raid. Then Chris looked at Maria, their helper redhead, who looked disdainfully at them all like all the hype was a total load of crap and she wanted to go no where but out. The sounds of Ezra and Vin brought Chris back to the direct problems at hand.

A sharp whistle cut through the air silencing everyone. "Ezra, Vin if you don't get your sorry asses out here now I promise you that Josiah and I will double team you!" This got a rather immediate response from the two fugitives who appeared from the coffee room almost immediately. Buck thinking that Chris was done speaking went back to pointing out and describing, vividly if the look on JD's face was anything to go by, his take on what Maria looked like. "BUCK! Shut up! Do you ever think about anything besides sex?" He stopped and turned read to begin freeing Josiah.

"N..." Buck began.

"Oh, Buck, don't answer that you dumb ass. It was a hypothetical question. We all know you don't think about anything else. So just shut up!" Turning and trying gain some semblance of respectability, professionalism, and at least a little of his fraying nerves Chris addressed the judge.

"Judge, I apologize for this, I really do. Can we continue are meeting at a later date? As you can see my hands are pretty full right now."

"Of course Chris. Miss Lopez, we can go to my office."

"Yes sir," She answered following the Judge to the elevator and never looking back.

Once they were gone Chris turned to Mary. "Mrs. Travis, now really isn't a good time, if you'd come back later Nathan could finish talking to you right now we need all of us to focus on….um…un-sticking Josiah," Chris finished just a little sheepishly.

"Oh, that's completely unnecessary Agent Larabee, I've got more then enough for my story," She smiled slyly and followed the judge and special agent Lopez.

"Well, I hope you're all very proud of yourselves," Chris said unwilling to continue for fear that would kill someone.

**__**

One week later-Clarion News of Denver front page headline

Nationally Famous Team Seven of Denver's ATF: Behind the scenes

__

With special eyewitness accounts and interview with Special undercover agent/communications and technology expert Maria Lopez and Federal Judge Orin Travis

P.S. It took team seven three and a half-hours to de-stick Josiah. Chris simply glared at them all and vowed revenge for the humiliation. Buck spent the rest of the day and night trying to find Maria Lopez' phone number. And Vin and Ezra both mysteriously woke up in the middle of a city park tied together, naked, hair died green and the words _I LOVE THIS GUY _written in permanent marker on the bare chests.

Well that's it. Hope you liked it! Let me know what you though, even if it's to say it sucked or was boring.


End file.
